daddy issues

The kid grew up in a toney neighborhood of Queens and attended the private Kew-Forest School from kindergarten through seventh grade.  At 13, his father abruptly packed him off to the New York Military Academy, a private boarding school, after discovering that that the kid was making frequent trips into Manhattan to buy switch blade knives.  I am not making this up.  Thus another wayward youth was rescued from a life of Marlon Brando-tainted juvenile delinquency.

But there was always that stinging feeling of rejection, since all his brothers and sisters were welcome to grow up at home.

“I’ve learned my lesson, daddy! Let me come home.”

“Maybe. But first let me see how well you can follow the rules. We might still be friends, you know.”

“I won’t let you down, Vladdy.”

The kid grew up with a serious daddy deficit.  It seems he thought maybe … … Putin would fill the void.  This is what his actions indicated.  What do you think?



read the world

Colin Powell says he is “a national disgrace and an international pariah.” Who are we talking about? I think you know.

How can we verify this pariah business? It is easy enough to find links to major world newspapers, and Google Translate gives us an efficient translation if we need it. I made a web page


using a bunch of links I found in Wikipedia. Check it out. The page works best using the Google Chrome browser, because Chrome has a nice translation dialog box .

Peace Out




It seems a toxic orange pestilence has infected Washington D.C., and it has become difficult to act rationally. True, a bad event in politics should not leave us dysfunctional, but this one has. It has.

By Andy Borowitz:

Obama’s Barrage of Complete Sentences Seen as Brutal Attack on Trump
Appearing at his first public event since leaving office, the former President fired off a punishing fusillade of grammatically correct statements.

By George Will:

What is most alarming is not that Trump has entered his eighth decade unscathed by even elementary knowledge about the nation’s history. The problem isn’t that he does not know this or that, or that he does not know that he does not know this or that. Rather, the dangerous thing is that he does not know what it is to know something.

By Richard Cohen in The Washington Post:

Trump teaches that the manly virtues are for suckers, that the narcissism of youth should be cherished and that angry impulses have to be honored. Lots of men have failed as presidents, as Trump surely will, but few fail so dismally as role models. He’s a boy’s idea of a man. He’s a man’s idea of a boy.

Remember, laughter can warm the coldest heart … sometimes you might even pee a bit, and that’s always warm



politics, Uncategorized

jailed for laughing

I was going to gripe about jefferson beauregard sessions III, our new attorney general, but I let it go.  He is not, after all, the least suitable person to hold this office, or even the least honest.  True, he is fuzzy on the concept of free speech._93337493_sessions_reu976

One Washington area attorney believes all attorneys-general are inclined to be bad. “Bobby Kennedy, John Mitchell, Janet Reno, John Ashcroft, Gonzales are as sorry a lineup of partisan hacks as ever attained high office, and so clumsy, one and all, that they barely escaped jail.  Except for Mitchell, who drew two to eight and served 19 months.” The Watergate Scandaljohn-ashcroft

“Appointment to the Office of Attorney General ought to come with an automatic jail term of one year, because whatever anyone does in that job is bound to stink,” he writes.

This would be an elegant enhancement to the law, let us agree.  I wish James Madison had thought of it 240 years ago.

Both of Reagan’s attorneys general ran into ethical controversies. William French Smith sought $66,000 in deductions from an oil and gas tax shelter that the Internal Revenue Service deemed abusive. Meese was investigated by three independent counsels. Two investigations involved his personal finances and one his role in the Iran-contra mess. No charges were brought, but one prosecutor, James McKay, said Meese “probably violated the criminal law,” which Meese denied.


Alberto Gonzales, AG under George Bush:alberto_gonzales_hmed_5p.grid-6x2
In the wake of the politically tinged dismissal of eight U.S. attorneys, a New York Times editorial detailed the damage Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has done to the Constitution before directly calling for his dismissal. “He has never stopped being consigliere to Mr. Bush’s imperial presidency,” the Times wrote. Also Sen. Chuck Schumer faulted Gonzales for putting politics above the law and asked the AG to resign.

As for Jeff Sessions, his main problem seems to be a deficit in grey matter.

The Guardian 4 May 2017:
A jury in Washington has convicted a woman who was arrested after laughing during a confirmation hearing for the attorney general, Jeff Sessions.

Desiree Fairooz, an activist with the leftwing NGO Code Pink, was found guilty of engaging in “disorderly or disruptive conduct” with the intent to disrupt congressional proceedings, as well as “parading, demonstrating or picketing”.

The charges stem from the hearing on 10 January, when Sessions’ then colleague, fellow Alabama Republican senator Richard Shelby, said Sessions’ record of “treating all Americans equally under the law is clear and well-documented”.

Fairooz laughed out loud twice at this claim, and according to the charges filed by the prosecutor, “grew loud and more disruptive” as an officer attempted to remove her from the room.

“Her disruptive behavior included yelling that Senator Sessions’ ‘voting record was evil’ and waving a sign that read: ‘Support civil rights, stop Sessions’.”

politics, Uncategorized

I was paid $1,500 to protest Ivanka (fake news)

It could happen.  Sure.  We’re always alert for the most fake fake news.

I am unable to give an award for best fake news, much as I’d like to, since that title belongs firmly in the hands of The Borowitz Report in The New York Times (in The Failing New York Times):


Jared Kushner Calls Kim Jong-un “Totally Unqualified Person” Who Got Job Only Through Nepotism

By Andy Borowitz on April 18, 2017
“I mean, why would you let someone with no experience in foreign affairs anywhere near such important decisions?” Kushner said.

– – – – – –

Trump Orders All White House Phones Covered in Tin Foil

By Andy Borowitz, March 4, 2017
After the installation was complete, Trump ordered the Secret Service to check every room in the White House for signs of Barack Obama.

link to Bororitz:

The tinfoil story was printed verbatim and without irony by a Chinese national newspaper.  In itself, this amounts to a notable Fake News story — except that it’s not fake.

– – – – – –

Here are some of my own fake stories:


Stephen Bannon indicted for cannibalism – again

Hillary stashes 4 million guns in Arkansas

Medical Science Still Unable To Explain Melania

Ivanka to Auction Japanese Emoluments

Human Activity is Now Believed To Cause KellyAnne and Melania

Science Finds New Uses For Old People

Sooner or Later You Will Be Drugged and Raped by Bill Cosby

Putin Invades, or Doesn’t Invade, Delaware

Gangs of men dressed in green, wearing ski masks and Russian-looking uniforms with no insignia, were recently seen shuffling around Wilmington.  Vladimir Putin denied any knowledge of them.  “Anybody can buy these stuff in costume store,” he said disdainfully.  “Who are they? I not know who are they.”

An analyst from Fox News observed that many of the green men speak Russian with a true Russian, not Delaware, accent, and thus must be recent arrivals.  The separatist faction in Delaware is still only a minority.  By a poll taken within the last year, 79% of Wilmingtonians said they did not wish to be part of Russia.

Hubit Chekokoff, the self-declared mayor of Wilmington, arrested a small group of the Delaware State Police.  The “mayor” asserted that he had proof that at least one of the officers is a “spy.”  Moscow says it has played no role in the uprising, to which Putin added, “these very much correct.”



ra ta ta ta ta ta ta

You know I’m almost grown, yeah, and I’m doin’ all right in school. They ain’t said I broke no rule. I ain’t never been in Dutch, I don’t browse around too much. Don’t bother me, leave me alone, anyway I’m almost grown. I don’t hang around with no mob, got myself a little job, I’m gonna buy me a little car, drive my girl in the park. Don’t bother me, leave me alone, anyway I’m almost grown.

ra ta ta ta ta ta ta

Got my eye on a little girl, you know, she’s really out this world. When I take her to a dance, she started talk about romance. Don’t bother us, leave us lone, anyway we’re almost grown.

ra ta ta ta ta ta ta

You know I’m still livin’ in town, but I done married and settled down. Now I really have a ball, I don’t browse around at all. Don’t bother us, leave us alone, anyway we’re almost grown.

ra ta ta ta ta ta ta

Bad Boy:
Raised in St. Louis, Missouri, he was sent to jail for 20 months for transporting a minor across state lines for immoral purposes (The Mann Act).

The Mann Act:
This notorious law was best described in “Unforgivable Blackness,” Ken Burn’s documentary about boxer Jack Johnson.  The courts were so enraged by Johnson’s marriage to a white woman that they contrived this law in order to punish him.

In 1959 Chuck Berry himself was convicted of violating the Mann Act for transporting a 14-year-old Apache girl across state lines.  His prosecution was equally racist. He had met the waitress in Juarez, Mexico, offered her employment in his St. Louis nightclub, brought her to St. Louis, then fired her.  When she was later arrested for prostitution, charges were pressed against Berry, although evidence that Berry’s behavior was improper was merely alleged, never proved.

Berry began producing hits in the 1950s, including 1958’s “Johnny B. Goode” and “Maybelline.”  With his clever lyrics and virtuoso musicianship, Berry became one of the most influential figures in the history of rock music. He died on March 18, 2017 at the age of 90.

Peace Out


a redress of grievances

Congress shall not abridge our right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.  It says so in the fricking constitution.  In fact there is a government web site

where we can submit our petitions directly.   When a petition gets 100,000 signatures, the White House will respond.  Here are some interesting examples already submitted:

  • Charge Madonna with Terrorist Threats against the president of the United States.
  • Issue an International Arrest Warrant for George Soros.
  • Divest or put in a blind trust all of the President’s business and financial assets.

In troubled times, maybe this is the right way to go (although there is no indication that the government ever pays attention.)  I suggest:

  • In the Interest of Brevity, “President Trump” shall be shortened to “Cheeto Head.”
  • Enjoin the Cheeto Head from Watching Bill O’Reilly Before Breakfast
  • Declare Cheeto Head’s fingers to be nasty, brutish, and short
  • The Cheeto Head Shall Wear a Tinfoil Hat When Fatigued
  • Steve Bannon Shall Finally Get A Haircut And Henceforth Be Referred To As Goebbels Or Possibly Dog’s Butt
  • KellyAnne Conway (Fact Free Barbie) Shall Confront Bannon (Goebbels) In A Mixed Martial Arts Cagefight Where The Winner Sits On Ivanka’s Face
  • Give Texas Back To Mexico Or If That Proves Impractical Deport Ted Cruz
  • Schedule An Intervention For The Cheeto Head’s Fox News Addiction

Any more suggestions?