Uncategorized

gun violence

Mass killings now occur every week on average, and there appears to be no remedy. Mental health checks, bans of military weapons, closing the gun show loophole — each will prevent only a finite number of shootings.

What do American mass killers have in common? They are male. They are virgins. They are young, white, alienated, and unlaid. Also, they tend to post whining rants on facebook.

Fuck these guys. Seriously, someone needs to fuck these guys. Problem solved.

This thinking led activist Nataly Loveless to form an organization named Slutbang International. “We are looking for volunteers to find these guys in facebook or youtube and bone them,” says Nataly. “Come on, two or three quick thrusts gets it done. Think of the lives you will be saving.”

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stuck in 2018

Yes, it’s another week’s collection of political satire, this set mirroring those “yo mama so ugly’ insults. I found them under the Twitter hashtag “YoMemo so ugly.”

It’s interesting that after a year, we probably won’t understand most of the references. Devin? Kellyanne? Memo? Roy Moore? The world rotates dizzily fast. To be sure, many of them have already careened out of the memory banks. Milli Vanilli? David Clark? bone spurs? Yeah, and it took a long moment for me to remember who Tiffany is.

yo memo so unloved, we should start calling it Tiffany.

Yo memo so inept it reminds Melania of her wedding night

You memo so sad it reminds Sean Hannity of his childhood Xmas

Yo memo so fake, the Texas School Board wants it in all the textbooks.

yo memo so vacuous Betsy Devos just made it the new common core.

yo memo so fake Donald Trump could use it as a hairpiece.

yo memo so bland, Guy Fieri put it on the menu.

yo memo so deflated, Tom Brady thinks it’s a football

yo memo is so fake Milli Vanilli wouldn’t sing it

Yo memo such a turkey, Dick Cheney tried to shoot it

yo memo so sick, Paul Ryan wants it to get a job.

yo memo so disappointing, I named it Devin.

yo memo so juvenile Roy Moore wants to date it.

yo memo so unloved, we should start calling it Tiffany.

yo memo so fake Donald Trump put it on top of his head this morning.

yo memo such a nothing-burger Betsey DeVos added it to the school lunch menu!

yo memo so disappointing even Rick Astley gave you up.

Yo memo so broke, the GOP taxed it.

Yo Memo so fake, it was found on Sheriff David Clarks Uniform.

Yo memo so fucked it’s in the next Stormy Daniels video.

yo memo so stupid it was a PhD thesis at Trump U

yo memo so FAKE, Fox is reporting it as NEWS.

yo memo so stupid it thought a quarterback was a refund.

yo memo so stupid it thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

yo memo so stupid it makes Carter Page look like a genius.

yo memo so childish it should have been in comic sans

yo memo as pointless as Mitch McConnel’s chin.

yo memo so fake it got 5 deferments from the Army for bone spurs.

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Uncategorized

“I am by far stabler and more geniuser than any of these people”

As the howling in the White House grows more rabid, we find ourselves asking
“who cqn best satirize this clown car for me?”

The answer is always Andy Borowitz. In this Washington comedy spanning Bannon, Pence, Tillerson, Jared Kushner, Ivanka, and Huckabee Sanders, Andy’s parodies can always be relied upon. His column in the New Yorker is a Must-Read for politics.

Tillerson Caught Under Trump’s Desk Disconnecting Button

White House Staff Forced to Act Out Michael Wolff Book for Non-Reading President

Trump Angrily Throws Steve Bannon’s Signed Copy of “Mein Kampf” in Trash

 

 

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Uncategorized

daddy issues

The kid grew up in a toney neighborhood of Queens and attended the private Kew-Forest School from kindergarten through seventh grade.  At 13, his father abruptly packed him off to the New York Military Academy, a private boarding school, after discovering that that the kid was making frequent trips into Manhattan to buy switch blade knives.  I am not making this up.  Thus another wayward youth was rescued from a life of Marlon Brando-tainted juvenile delinquency.

But there was always that stinging feeling of rejection, since all his brothers and sisters were welcome to grow up at home.

“I’ve learned my lesson, daddy! Let me come home.”

“Maybe. But first let me see how well you can follow the rules. We might still be friends, you know.”

“I won’t let you down, Vladdy.”

The kid grew up with a serious daddy deficit.  It seems he thought maybe … … Putin would fill the void.  This is what his actions indicated.  What do you think?

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Uncategorized

read the world

Colin Powell says he is “a national disgrace and an international pariah.” Who are we talking about? I think you know.

How can we verify this pariah business? It is easy enough to find links to major world newspapers, and Google Translate gives us an efficient translation if we need it. I made a web page

motherlessgoat.webs.com/worldpress.html

using a bunch of links I found in Wikipedia. Check it out. The page works best using the Google Chrome browser, because Chrome has a nice translation dialog box .

Peace Out

2017-02-13-21-54-34

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Uncategorized

trumpd

It seems a toxic orange pestilence has infected Washington D.C., and it has become difficult to act rationally. True, a bad event in politics should not leave us dysfunctional, but this one has. It has.

By Andy Borowitz:

Obama’s Barrage of Complete Sentences Seen as Brutal Attack on Trump
Appearing at his first public event since leaving office, the former President fired off a punishing fusillade of grammatically correct statements.

By George Will:

What is most alarming is not that Trump has entered his eighth decade unscathed by even elementary knowledge about the nation’s history. The problem isn’t that he does not know this or that, or that he does not know that he does not know this or that. Rather, the dangerous thing is that he does not know what it is to know something.

By Richard Cohen in The Washington Post:

Trump teaches that the manly virtues are for suckers, that the narcissism of youth should be cherished and that angry impulses have to be honored. Lots of men have failed as presidents, as Trump surely will, but few fail so dismally as role models. He’s a boy’s idea of a man. He’s a man’s idea of a boy.

Remember, laughter can warm the coldest heart … sometimes you might even pee a bit, and that’s always warm

 

 

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politics, Uncategorized

jailed for laughing

I was going to gripe about jefferson beauregard sessions III, our new attorney general, but I let it go.  He is not, after all, the least suitable person to hold this office, or even the least honest.  True, he is fuzzy on the concept of free speech._93337493_sessions_reu976

One Washington area attorney believes all attorneys-general are inclined to be bad. “Bobby Kennedy, John Mitchell, Janet Reno, John Ashcroft, Gonzales are as sorry a lineup of partisan hacks as ever attained high office, and so clumsy, one and all, that they barely escaped jail.  Except for Mitchell, who drew two to eight and served 19 months.” The Watergate Scandaljohn-ashcroft

“Appointment to the Office of Attorney General ought to come with an automatic jail term of one year, because whatever anyone does in that job is bound to stink,” he writes.

This would be an elegant enhancement to the law, let us agree.  I wish James Madison had thought of it 240 years ago.

Both of Reagan’s attorneys general ran into ethical controversies. William French Smith sought $66,000 in deductions from an oil and gas tax shelter that the Internal Revenue Service deemed abusive. Meese was investigated by three independent counsels. Two investigations involved his personal finances and one his role in the Iran-contra mess. No charges were brought, but one prosecutor, James McKay, said Meese “probably violated the criminal law,” which Meese denied.

edwin-meese1

Alberto Gonzales, AG under George Bush:alberto_gonzales_hmed_5p.grid-6x2
In the wake of the politically tinged dismissal of eight U.S. attorneys, a New York Times editorial detailed the damage Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has done to the Constitution before directly calling for his dismissal. “He has never stopped being consigliere to Mr. Bush’s imperial presidency,” the Times wrote. Also Sen. Chuck Schumer faulted Gonzales for putting politics above the law and asked the AG to resign.

As for Jeff Sessions, his main problem seems to be a deficit in grey matter.

The Guardian 4 May 2017:
A jury in Washington has convicted a woman who was arrested after laughing during a confirmation hearing for the attorney general, Jeff Sessions.

Desiree Fairooz, an activist with the leftwing NGO Code Pink, was found guilty of engaging in “disorderly or disruptive conduct” with the intent to disrupt congressional proceedings, as well as “parading, demonstrating or picketing”.

The charges stem from the hearing on 10 January, when Sessions’ then colleague, fellow Alabama Republican senator Richard Shelby, said Sessions’ record of “treating all Americans equally under the law is clear and well-documented”.

Fairooz laughed out loud twice at this claim, and according to the charges filed by the prosecutor, “grew loud and more disruptive” as an officer attempted to remove her from the room.

“Her disruptive behavior included yelling that Senator Sessions’ ‘voting record was evil’ and waving a sign that read: ‘Support civil rights, stop Sessions’.”

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